Boredom

In times when life seems so mundane and all you wanna do is choke yourself to death to escape from the monotony, well my friends there are solutions to this problem. The catch is you have to figure it out for yourself. Why are we as addicts bored so often? Well let's take a look at our past and figure it out. In a day of drug or alcohol abuse, my day was set up around my use. I would wake up and the first thing I would do is phone a dealer. The next hour or so I would wait for the dealer to show up with the goods. I would then indulge in the drugs for as long as it would take for it to dissappear. if I still had money to spend, which would be every last dime, I would repeat the whole fiasco until my water ran dry. This is the most painful part: When all is gone I would literally spend hours upon hours trying to muster up ideas to get more drugs. this could take a little time, a whole day, and sometimes longer!

Now that I am clean I have to fill the void of practically 16 hours, give or take, of time that was once filled by drug use. 16 freaking hours is a lot of time to find something to do people. If I didn't have interests already in place before my downslide I would be fucked..literally. So many people that I have met through various rehabs and detox shelters really have no ambition to do anything with themselves. So, it is extremely difficult for them to break the cycle for the simple reason that they rather be messed up then do absolutely nothing with themselves. Sad but I understand it completely.

I understand that it takes time to get a life back on track. This will come with brain messing nothingness. FIND SOMETHING to do. Anything until something sparks your interest. I cannot think that anyone can do this for me. Remember, your friends and family has lives of their own. DO NOT count on them to bail you out of yawnville. Leave your home first off. Nothing is gonna come to you if you keep your ass indoors. Trust yourself and know that things will get better. Force a HAPPY DAY because being in constant pity is tired, and the people you want to surround yourself with do not put up with that nonesense for long.

We are still alive, don't forget that, and relatively healthy. There is no reason with all I or anyone else who went through the hell of drug addiction, would allow boredom to send them back to the hell we once cried to be free from!!!!